In my gay opinion, and stereotypically, October is the best time for scary movies. I grew up on the original classics “Friday The 13th” “Nightmare On Elm Street” and “Halloween”. You may be team Sleepaway Camp or team Camp Crystal Lake, but Cassandra Peterson’s alter ego, Elvira, serves my go-to type of camp with her two massive hits.
I said hits!
First up the 1988 classic “Elvira Mistress Of The Dark” which Cassandra co-wrote and stars in. Am I a sucker for non-stop puns, cheesy one-liners, and double entendres? “Does a chicken have a pecker?”
Elvira leaves her hostess-with-the-mostest gig at a Los Angeles TV station with dreams of her own musical revue in Vegas. How will she fund the $50,000 production? By fixing up and selling her inherited great-aunt’s house in Fallwell, Massachusetts. The uptight town’s folk (especially Chastity Pariah played perfectly prudishly by Edie McClurg) don’t take kindly to Elvira’s spunk. SPOILER ALERT, she wins them over with her great-aunt’s spell book, demon casserole and overflowing personality (and dresses).
In 2001 Elvira returned in “Elvira’s Haunted Hills” but this is no sequel, we’re going back to 1851. On their way to perform in a can-can revue in Paris, Elvira and her maidservant Zou Zou unexpectedly find themselves at the haunted Hellsubus Castle. Discovering Elvira has a striking resemblance to the mistress of the house, Lady Elura, who died ten years previously. Elvira and Zou Zou need to survive the night until they can get the next stagecoach out of Dodge…or in this case, Romania.
Not only did Cassandra co-write and star in this cult favorite, she put her money where her mouth is, raising the cash to get it made. Cassandra ups the cheese factor and calls out the ridiculousness of b-movie classics and foreign monster flicks bad dubbing. The humor is sharp with hysterical spoofing of “The Shining,” “Moonstruck” and “Titanic.” After years of multiple viewings, Elvira still has me dying every time.
At the time of this post, both films are available free to stream on many services (I did Roku). It’s the perfect way to spend Halloween night with your trusty little familiar (Fred my rescue hamster loves a good boob joke, “I’m flat busted…I mean I’m broke”), a bowl of your favorite candy (turn off the porch light and keep it all for yourself, screw those little beggars at the door) and enjoy this double feature.
