Welcome to the Cult Of The Sidewinder where every day is a Holiday. After days spent soaking up rays, handing out condoms at the local train station and updating your OnlyFans page to benefit the Church, members are asked to don their brightest fluorescent kimonos and boas over your finest-of-fine Spandex for the nightly Ritual Of Baby Oil. Members will take turns reading from the Fine Mess Doctrine before chanting and dancing the night away to the musical stylings of Forever Or Whatever. Once the ritual is complete and everyone is a sweaty and panting heap of flesh on the floor, members will be treated to a night cap of Kool-Aid and Schnapps while the experimental sounds of Face Of God plays into the dawn.
Our Prophet Of Prose, Nick Littlemore, co-created the ethereal Face Of God with Our Sister Of The Light and Cheesy, Holiday Sidewinder. In my gay opinion, Holiday’s voice floats dreamily over the otherworldly beats. The music transcends time and space, borrowing from styles from the past (ahh, the 80’s sax solos) while creating a whole new sound. Is it Jazz? Is it Electronic? Is it New Age? It’s not our parishioners job to question but to be teleported to a whole new realm by the vocals, the music or the Kool-Aid.
Thanks to The Cult Of The Sidewinder, members will get to witness the Face Of God. She is an all embracing, go-go dancing, body and sex positive, diva of the divine who is haloed in blondness and love.
DISCLAIMER: In the making of this post, no virgins were sacrificed…only their virtues.
