While trolling around the internet as the modern day gay Christopher Columbus type that I am, I’m constantly discovering new worlds of people involved in all sorts of intriguing situations. My in depth investigative research has, at times, left me thinking to myself, “Self, why would people be into such things?” 9 times out of 10, I don’t have a clue. Everybody has something that turns them on, some can be explained and some just are. In my gay opinion, it’s the turn ons that can’t be explained that are the most interesting. So this is my personal list of Top 5 Unexplainable Turn Ons:
#5: Shaved heads (Maybe it stems from my youth and the impact of the music video “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor, that was one hot dude).
#4: Motorcycle helmets (Bicycle helmets have the complete opposite effect on me, it’s like wearing frozen underwear).
#3: Well cared for feet (Why feet when there are plenty of other body parts that are obviously much hotter…such as knees and elbows).
#2: Midgets (This is not a politically correct term but political correctness is never hot! I’m a fag who sports a boner for midgets not a homosexual who gets erections from little people…that sounds like a pedophile).
#1: Being called bromantic terms of endearment by straight guys (Bro, bud, man, dude…you get the point).
So the bottom line (so to speak) is that if you’re a frat talking, Harley riding, skinhead who’s under 5 feet tall and coming from having your nails did; call me.