The two people who have had the most influence on my personal hair stylings over the years are Shaun Cassidy, with his male version of the Farrah Fawcett flip, and Madonna who changed hair styles and colors more often than I changed my underwear…that may explain why I was single for so long.
I’ve never had a problem dying my hair or cutting it off. I have my fingers crossed that it goes white before I go bald so I can dye it purple. #LifeGoals. The most radical thing I did hair wise was let my hair grow out for a few years as a form of solidarity with a friend who had breast cancer. Most people shave their heads in unity but I grew mine out to give to Locks Of Love to make wigs for children with cancer. They never acknowledged my donation but I’m not bitter….much.
At that time my partner and I went to the movies. The theater was sold out so seating was cramped. An older couple sat next to my partner and the wife started to chat him up. I turned my head because I didn’t want to be roped into a conversation…I’ve been social distancing since before it was cool. So the woman shoved some candy at me and I waved my hand and mumbled some sort of decline. My partner laughed and whispered, “Did you hear what she said?” I rolled my eyes because he knew I wasn’t listening. He said, “She asked if my wife wanted any and before I could answer, you opened your big mouth and declined.” Whatever, I’ve been called worse.
When the Coronavirus first hit, barber shops and hair salons were the first thing to be shut down. As anyone with a social media account knows, many people armed clippers, took hair cutting into their own hands. As always, I wait for a fad to die before I adopt it. So, now that hair shops are open again, it’s time for me to cut my own hair.
Welcome to Corona Cuts. My name is Dave and I’ll be your stylist today. Don’t worry, I have had minutes upon minutes of training. My partner watched tons of YouTube videos on how to use clippers to give himself a proper haircut and reported back. Being the attentive partner I am, I listened to about ten percent and did my own thing.
Usually if I spend a half hour behind a locked bathroom door where only a buzzing sound and swearing can be heard, I’m not cutting my hair. However, this time I was and when I came out to show my partner the results, I was greeted with, “That’s better than I thought you could do.” In my gay opinion, as always, sweet talk will get you everywhere.