When I saw Jaclyn Smith was releasing an autobiography this month, a quick Google search discovered none of my usual haunts were having signings but Bookends (211 E Ridgewood Ave) was and I bought a ticket before knowing where Ridgewood, New Jersey was (luckily just over the New York border).
Not knowing about traffic or parking, I booked the day off, left early and was there by 2:30 for a 6:00 start. I got in line (already a dozen deep) and an hour before the event, the store let us in. People with mobility issues were seated on the main floor and the rest were corralled downstairs into the “event space” (most would call this a basement) to stand and wait. I missed the hard, dirty pavement with fresh air pretty fast. The only air circulation came from two electric fans, leaving me downwind from a few Jaclyn fan’s BO. They could fly in from all over the country, lug all their memorabilia, but they couldn’t be bothered to shower.
Us basement dwellers knew the event started when we heard clapping from above and watched folks with canes, walkers, and oxygen tanks amble by the hole we came down. When well-dressed, able-bodied, middle-aged people and younger women in crop tops sashayed by the hole, there were some grumblings in the basement (or maybe that was my stomach turning from the smell). Finally, two staff members made their way down and some thought Jaclyn would follow like Frankie Avalon in Grease (didn’t ya’ll see the door next to signing table?) That’s where Jaclyn appeared and off we went.
The first person brought up his book and Charlie’s Angels DVD. The staff started yelling “books only, she’s not signing any memorabilia” (mentioning that earlier might’ve helped). Then someone yelled down “we need help, someone fell.” Things went from disorganized to shit-show within seconds. People were running around grabbing chairs (where were those when I was standing around) and fans were shoving random merch at Jaclyn, which she signed causing more yelling about books only. It was still havoc by my turn, but Jaclyn was sweet and said she was having fun. When I left, the basement was full and the line outside ran in front of and around the building.
As for the book, “I Once Knew A Guy Named Charlie,” you’re not going to get any dirt. Jaclyn’s a class-act and self-described “prim Texas girl” but you do find out what it was like to become a star back in the 60’s when things were easier according to her. Her autobiography covers all aspects of her life and career, all the TV shows, movies, miniseries and commercials she did. As well as her connection to her family, her marriages and her children. In my gay opinion, the book delivers what the fans want, multiple chapters full of stories from all five seasons of Charlie’s Angels from the perspective of the only Angel to be in every episode and then some. Simply heavenly!
