Litany

In my gay opinion, music can be like a time machine. Olivia Newton-John’s “Hopelessly Devoted To You” flashes me back to creating musical productions of Grease in my basement with neighborhood friends (you already know who Sandy was), “Holiday” by Madonna was playing both when I got my first kiss and got into my first car accident (they were equally messy), and Tina Turner’s “Private Dancer” was my theme song at my first job because I felt I had sold my soul the The Man.

Recently when I discovered new-to-me diva Litany, who’s EPs came out in 2017 and 2019, her sound felt very nostalgic. Songs today can sound like the 80’s, not many can feel like it, but Litany nails it. A trip back to a time when music was fun, made you feel good, and after just a few listens you could sing along into your hairbrush to every word as if you’re on stage at Madison Square Garden…or is that just me?

I wish I could teleport Litany’s 4 Track EP to Little Gay Dave (no, that’s not what I call my penis) to teach him some valuable life lessons. “Flaws” would give him the resilience and sass to deal with bullies who made fun of his flaws instead of seeing their own. “I Said” preaches to never pretend to be someone else just for others to like you. Don’t be naïve enough to invite boys to your “Bedroom” to “listen to music” and be surprised that they don’t understand that’s not a euphemism for something else. Finally, playing Atari (that was the 80’s version of a “PS2”) all night with Tommy from Boy Scouts doesn’t mean you’re dating. Also, a side note, joining Boy Scouts to meet boys is a bad idea. Sure the sashes are totally rad but the badges aren’t just cute accessories you can buy at the mall, they want you to do things like build fires and make tool type things to earn them. It’s basically child labor and not worth it to meet a boy in uniform.

The catchy tunes and life lessons just keep on coming with Litany’s second EP, Single Player Mode. Little Delusional Gay Dave not everybody thinks like you do (unfortunately this is something you’ll never learn) and no matter how many times you listen to “My Dude” some boys like girls and you can never be their girlfriend. When you ask Ginny to “Go Out” to a Whitesnake concert, it’s a mistake for two reasons: #1: liking girls as friends and having a girlfriend are two different things and #2: it’s Whitesnake, what are you thinking? Lots of boys like The Greatest American Hero, it’s not serendipity, just write a “Love Letter” in your Crapper Keeper (poor kids version of a Trapper Keeper) and burn it instead of hoping for more. Appreciate the summers camping in the Nutmeg Camel (a rented olive-green converted school bus) with your mom and hanging in the rec hall playing video games as “Crimson And Clover” by Joan Jett (the 80’s version of “Single Player Mode”) plays over and over because these times won’t last forever.

I have listened to these EP’s more times than I can count in the past few weeks. There have been many hours spent in the car with Litany blasting out my open windows as I torture passersby with my version of singing. I have yet to grow tired of these few songs. So if you’re looking for your own device back in time or just want some feel good music, Litany won’t let you down.

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