Customers With Infant Or Expectant Mother Parking

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I’m sitting here trying to think of what should be the topic for my very first blog post. Not much thought is needed, which in my case is a good thing. I’m going with one of my biggest pet peeves, the customers with an infant or expectant mothers reserved parking spot signs. My gay opinion is that these parking spots are bullshit!

Often I drive into a grocery store or mall parking lot, see an open spot between two SUVs or mini vans (that’s what families and expectant mothers drive), start to pull my car in, and find one of those damn signs hidden there. If an expectant mom can climb in and out of an SUV, can’t she walk from any of the parking spots? She can walk around the whole store or mall, what’s a few more steps?

Just because Mom chooses to use her uterus as a taxi service for 9 months, she thinks that Life just gave her a big promotion and a front row parking spot is one of the perks. I’m here to tell her that she was certainly capable to make that Bundle Of Joy, she’s more than capable to walk from one of the Commoner’s parking spots.

We’ll give a reserved spot to these Humpers who are contributing to the overpopulation problem while screwing over the elderly? Lets make Grandma walk the length of the parking lot because Daddy needs a priority spot so he can pick up his beer and get the Spawn home before American Idol starts. Got to get our votes in, we matter!

I have to tolerate Darling wiping it’s hands on me in a restaurant because the Breeder’s too busy to watch it, have my commute doubled because the school bus needs to stop at each house because Precious can’t be expected to walk across a lawn to a community bus stop, and turn my iPod up to ear-bleeding levels to block out Sweetie’s screams on a 4 hour flight from Chicago to Seattle.

I put up with a lot, so I shouldn’t have to watch where I park as well. So this Princess is going on Craigslist, getting herself a used car seat, putting it in my backseat, throw some stale Cheerios on the floor, and start parking my Family Car wherever the hell I want.

 

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