People talk way too much for my liking. In my gay opinion, the only thing worse than listening to people talk is having to listen to them whine. I don’t drink wine and I sure don’t want to listen to it. So in honor of that, here are my Top 5 Whining Topics That Get On My Nerves:
5: Taxes – Everybody gets taxed. It’s part of life. So pay up and shut up.
4: Politics – You know that saying “if you don’t vote then you can’t complain?” Even if you do vote, don’t complain. Because to be honest, I don’t know what politicians do or who’s even in office. So hearing you whine about something that I don’t care about is fucking annoying.
3: Situations that are your fault – Bad things happen to everyone and I’ll listen to some levels of complaining. But don’t think I want to listen to you whine about situations that you’re in because of your own doing. Before you whine about something, think about how you got there. If it’s your fault then I suggest you spend a little more time figuring out how to fix it and a little less time flapping your lips at me.
2: Shit you always complain about – If I’ve had to listen to you complain about something more than once, it’s officially whining and that’s too damn much.
1: Kids – “Having kids is so expensive” “My baby won’t sleep through the night” “My teenager won’t listen to me” No shit! I’m gay and don’t have any kids but even I know that stuff. Babies keep your ass up all night with their crying, teenagers are going to turn on you and hate you, and those little bastards and going to eat up all your savings with their diapers, clothing, food and education. So don’t whine to me about it, you chose to bring them into the world so suck it up and go back to basking in the afterglow of parenting.
Just for the record, this isn’t me whining about people whining. I’m bitching about it…which is a completely different thing. So when you have your next Pity Party, know that I’m going to R.S.V.P “Fuck that noise!”